Job Hunting While Trans – How Not To Lose?

So I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about employment again. I say “thinking” when what I really mean is “fretting”, or perhaps “stressing”.

I am perhaps the most indecisive person on the entire planet and so far that’s made transition extra complicated, as almost every step has been met with me analysing the crap out of the situation. So now that I’m having to think about employment opportunities again, I’m back to going back and forth over what to do.

This last year I’ve worked from home, which has worked out okay. I say ‘okay’ because some months have given plenty to do while others have left me very light on work, and therefore light on cash. Although I did apply for the odd job here and there I was mostly content to stick to what I was doing, as it also meant I could take care of my partner better, who especially needed me around last year.

It’s reached the point now where I have two choices on how to pursue employment, and both are tightly intertwined with transition. Read More

Christmas, and Other Recent Events

It’s the middle of the night as I write this. I’m feeling thoughtful. Let’s get caught up.

So we’ve been here about a month now, down on the south coast in a new city, approximately 200 miles away from where I grew up. So far things are going kind of great.

I still need to get outside more and familiarise myself with the area properly. But by exploring and general day-to-day wanderings I’m starting to get a feel for it and it’s feeling like home. The best part though? The beach.

I love the sea. I can’t tell you what it is about it, but I find the ocean incredibly soothing. A few weeks ago I decided to just wander around the beach for about an hour, alone. It was one of the most relaxing things I’ve done in months.

The banner for this blog is currently a photo I took that day. It was a little chilly and cloudy, but that did nothing to dampen my mood. I was completely at peace, just wandering along by the sea.

 

Meanwhile, living with friends has been especially great.

I’m incredibly thankful things have worked out as well as they have,  I’ve been feeling somewhat along the lines of: “Finally, something has gone right!”

After years of metaphorical sleep walking, going through life numb and letting time pass me by, it feels great to be somewhere I really want to be, and around people I really like being around. Especially after a year that had a few very rough months in it and a lot of indecision.

The future is still intimidating, but I feel like it’s going to be worth it. I feel like I have a goal that’s actually achievable and that I’ve actually made some progress towards it.

Essentially, I’ve still got a lot of work ahead of me I’m sure, but my everyday life just feels so much more authentic than it’s been recently. Read More

Home

Hello all, so I’m writing this from my new home!

Since the last blog post, there have been a few days of frantic packing, a roughly 9-hour travel session to get down here, and several days of getting settled.

Regular readers of the last incarnation of this blog will know that a lot of problems I had stemmed from being cooped up in my parents’ house. Furthermore the city and overall area in general was a place that neither me nor my girlfriend wanted to remain in, mainly for personal reasons as well as practical ones. So, being here in a new house across the country, with my girlfriend beside me and two awesome friends, is just world’s apart from where I was.

One thing I’ve noticed recently is that my general stress level has been very low compared to what it was beforehand. I’m sure part of that is the high of moving somewhere new, but it’s also the environment. I always forget how much energy goes towards putting up a front, so with that need gone then I’m just generally a lot more relaxed.

An example being last week, I had a major problem with my pop culture blog, as it apparently got hit by a malicious attack which screwed with its files and left it in an awkward and wobbly state. Were I back at my parents’ then that would have been incredibly stressful, but instead it just felt like a minor annoyance. After tinkering around for a bit it was all sorted.

Another thing that I still really appreciate, is that here I don’t have to put any thought into my presentation, I can just wear whatever I like, regardless. I’m neither suppressing how I want to present nor trying to uphold a particular standard. I can just be me and present however I feel like that morning. This seems like such a laughably mundane thing, but when those pressures have been a constant in my life for so long, having them suddenly gone is incredibly liberating.

I’m still mostly taking things easy here, but I have some web-based work on the horizon that’ll be soon keeping me busy, so in the short term I have some work too. But I will ideally need a more permanent solution too, but that’s a concern for later.

I’m still planning to come out to everyone left soon, but I’m also waiting until the rest of our stuff arrives down here (it’s coming via a van in a few days). Then we’ll really be settled and can properly get started with our new life here. It’s a scary thought, but also kind of exciting, that I’ll soon be clearing out the lingering parts of my life that are still tied to my old identity.

…and that’s that! I have little else to add right now, but I wanted to put up an update just to say I’m doing well.

Thanks to everyone for checking in, I’ll keep y’all posted.

Mia, Year One

So, where were we?

If you’re reading this you may have come over from my old personal blog, which was a private little blog I set up to ramble quietly about what I was going through. If you never visited my old blog, here’s a summary: I realised that what I hit upon as a teenager was actually correct; I’m a trans woman.

Now in my mid-twenties I’m beginning my transition. After a rough year with a lot of ups and downs, I came to the conclusion that I had to get out of my hometown and go somewhere new for a fresh start.

One year since I began my original blog, and one year since I wondered “Dammit. I really should explore these gender identity issues, huh?” plans were locked down to move to the other side of the country, with new friends I had made during the year.

So here we go. 2015 was preparation, taking stock of my life, clearing out my headspace and coming to terms with what I need to do.

Now let’s see what Year One of being myself brings.